I am beginning to see that all of life is a process of letting go. It matters not what I am trying to hold on to; or what want to remain the same – everything is in process, ever changing.
The process of a piece of art I am working on, is frustrating at times, bringing self doubt and yet I press on.
Thoughts are never stagnant and yet thoughts can drive one mad when they take on an obsessive pattern, around and around in my mind. Luckily for me I recognize for the most part when I am obsessing. However the small stuff seems easy to let go of, to stop the obsession. It is the bigger stuff that apparently for me can move from obsession to addiction. The thing about addiction is it has a physical component to it. The one I struggle with right now is food. I am obsessed with food.
I am a recovering alcoholic ………. I have been sober 17 years and would no more want a drink that I would want to stab myself in the eye. I know drinking hurts – me and others. But what of food? One still has to eat.
However I know enough about addiction that this will kill me too. And I know that the mental obsession for alcohol was removed from me through the process of the 12 steps and with the help of a Power that I do not understand.
And I know that this same process works for hundreds of overeaters, folks who have had the obsession of food removed, who did it through the same 12 steps and the same Power and Grace that removed the alcohol obsession from me.
So what is it that I am refusing to let go of here ……… that is the question.
I stopped nicotine 7 years ago and have been eating my emotions instead of smoking them away. Instead of drinking them away. A friend I had not seen in many years told me I looked sad…………
What is this sadness, grieving, heaviness? mmm heaviness !!!
more to come ……………
Lots of memories for lots of folks…….. took a Thanksgiving drive and stopped at Skeleton Lake to take this.
I think someone emailed me this picture or perhaps I found it on the Web.
This is how I see the energy of the Universal Source, how energy healing happens, how we are all connected.
The meridians of the body are shown so well and the Silver thread that connects us all / it all.
We are One with, at One with this Source.
Here is the finished Butterfly Picture – I guess I need to name it. I want to call it “out of the woods” because of the process that got me to this point. I found that the learning was huge in doing this piece, so that the beginning of the next few will be easier.
THIS PICTURE NOW LIVES AT THE WELLWOOD CENTER IN HAMILTON, ONTARIO.
Yesterday I saw this quote on a blog that I read weekly. It was from either a Lenard Cohen song or Poem.
RING THE BELLS THAT STILL CAN RING
FORGET YOUR PERFECT OFFERING
THERE IS A CRACK IN EVERYTHING
THAT’S HOW THE LIGHT GETS IN
I am so moved by this………probably more moved than I have been in a long time.
My interpretation of this tells me to ” ring the bells that still can ring” = do what you still can do
………..”forget your perfect offering” = stop not doing things because they/it may not be perfect…..
.”there is a crack in everything” = no thing is perfect, all have faults/cracks……………
.”that’s how the Light gets in” = it is in our humble state/ our brokeness that God/Light/Source get to us ……………Ah ah Amen
Someone sent me an email with this picture in it – how beautiful !!
And how do we define Abundance?
Looking at my life and seeing how much I have. All that I have and all that is coming to me as I write this.
Family, friends, a car to drive a nice roof over my head, food in the fridge, lots of things to keep me warm……
Abundance of gifts to share with others.
For all of this I am grateful !!
Six years have gone
I don’t know where
You are gone
And I still care
Moving on / Slow Motion
One step at a time
One year at a time
If you get the notion
Move on ………..
What can I say except I still have a difficult time thinking about and taking in the impact your leaving has had on my life, and the lives of others. You are missed and thought about, and so it is.
This is another of my Torn Paper and Butterfly Series of cards that I am currently working on. The holiday season is starting to enter into my realm of consciousness. And once again I consider what it all means as we grow older – do we still consider this a special time. The statement that “Christmas is for children” is one to ponder. What does that mean? Is there really magic in Christmas. Ram Dass ( a guru of the 60’s ) said ” If you think you are Spiritually evolved go spend a weekend with your family of origin”, and I wonder if this is true for most of us. And if we have children what then does this mean for them – and for us? I have two friends who are now living with their mothers full time. The one friend is fearful for his sanity and the other who is new to this way of living says the “warehousing” that goes on with the elderly is just not any way to treat our parents. Recently I visited my mother-in-law at such a facility. Once in her room I was fine; however the walk down the corridor to get to her room, was long and filled with the some of the horrors of aging. Folks slumped over in their chairs, mouths gaping open, oblivious to all that was around them. Perhaps we should be like Benjamin Button ………… and go the other way; start out as an old man and get younger. No one really minds caring for a baby !!
As I re-read this I realize it’s still some “leftovers” from my birthday and getting older, and I need to know that “going home” is not such a bad thing; for that Home, that place of “many mansions” in my Fathers house, is not such a scary thing……………
I am sitting down to stop the intensity of “being in the creative flow” of making some new cards.
It occurs to me that when I get start to make a series of cards, it’s like an addiction. I have to tell myself to take a break, the pain usually stops me. I have been working since 11 am this morning and its almost 5pm and I feel like I have been hit by a truck. My body reacts to the standing and the bending over the table.
I have not made any cards in such a long time; and it took finding some yummy new paper when I was in Halifax to kick in the desire, the vision and then the movement into doing. Willl try and scan some cards soon.
found the picture on the weeb…………..