Author Archives: emerald

Autumn and Winter

Posted on by
Reply

This time of year ………this time of life. I ponder if the 60’s are the autumn of our lives or the winter. I find I do not dread the thought of the cold weather coming, the snow, the isolation, the dark. I know that this year I will make more of an effort to get outside and embrace the daylight that is so precious.
However right now I need to just stay in the day and enjoy the leaves the great temperatures.
And I need to do this in terms of life. In these years ……..this next and perhaps last chapter of life. Step out in the light……..happy to not be living in the dark places of my past. I really see this as the autumn of my life not the winter of my life. However we don’t know when we will pass on/ over………….so living life as if it where that last part, may be important. Live each day to the fullest.
Looking at the beauty of the leaves……….and the strength of the “winter” …………..guess I am in my years of beauty 😉

September Days

Posted on by
Reply

the Lyrics
Make me a channel of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me bring Your love,
Where there is injury, Your pardon Lord,
And where there’s doubt, true faith in You
Make me a channel of your peace,
Where there’s despair in life let me bring hope,
Where there is darkness – only light,
And where there’s sadness, ever joy
Oh Master, grant that I may never seek,
So much to be consoled as to console,
To be understood, as to understand,
To be loved, as to love with all my soul
Make me a channel of your peace,I
t is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
In giving to all men that we recieve,
And in dying that we’re born to eternal life
I truly love the Prayer of St Francis………
and this time of year, causes me to stop
and really meditate on these words.

Sadness as love

Posted on by
Reply

I was listening to one of Oprah’s and Friends Podcast’s and the woman said “Sadness is really love”
This statement took me back a bit and I had to process the greatness of it.
When I have felt sad I often thought it was “all about me” and that I was selfish – or deserved to feel this way. And I am recovered enough to know not to get lost in any of those type of thoughts. This new way of looking at sadness feels much better and somehow very right.
I know now how much I love; by the sadness in my heart about some things.
And I am (made of) water and the tears flow because I overflow with love……
Now don’t get me wrong I am not in constant sadness, not by a long shot. What has happened to me in recovery is; I can no longer stuff the feelings, the tears, the love.
I can no longer have the walls around me that I used to have I now have boundaries instead of walls. I no longer live in the dark.
Spirit walks with me and I am in the presence of Love when I choose to be conscious of that Love and Light. To do Inventory is to go into the dark and bring “my stuff” into the light.
God has made him/her self known to me over and over again as I have walked this path of receovery and more and more I am able to stay in the day (hopefully in the now) and that is where God is….where…I am

catching up

Posted on by
Reply

I am not sure what “catching up” means. I am unsure if we can “catch up”. I have been away from here, this blog, this site, this art for some time now and to start feels like to start again, not catch up.

If I could flip a switch and just have the creative juices start to flow, I would. However I am contemplating the next few months and the fact that I am going to move once again. And I know how big a job it is and so I can only picture me packing. I need to have a yard sale sometime in September and I know that takes work.

Always I get back to the energy it takes to do these things. I know that it will come however right now I am having some difficulty in facing the work ahead.

I can only pray for the strength and motivation to carry on and do the things I need to do.

Zentangles

Posted on by
Reply

These doodles are called Zentangles
and it seems for two months (since last post) these where the only cards I did until this past week. Sometime today I will scan my latest and upload.
“Life is what happens when we are making other plans”
One wonders though how almost two months of the “non-creative self” can emerge; and hang on until it/she pulls out of that space.
I am inspired by a small show that is happening and perhaps the sale of the cards I have will inspire me even more.
Summer seems such a busy time; trips here and there, a wedding, a visitor or two.

changing colours

Posted on by
Reply

Ifind it an interesting process choosing colors for my cards, from the color of the cards to the paper that I make the “paperscapes” with.
I have always preferred the browns and blacks and the different shades of purples. However I am moving into different colors.

big girls don’t

Posted on by
Reply

Some times you just have to “suck it up” and deal with it.
Processing the last month is bringing me to more conclusions about my energy. I choose where to spend it and I am really seeing how precious that energy is and I no longer am willing to put it in places that are not healthy for me.
I was happy to do the stuff I did this past month, it has brought me to the point of “where do I spend this energy of mine and is it healthy for me, and others”.
I am always filled with good energy when I share my experience strength and hope within the rooms recovery. And I know I need to do this in order to stay sane and sober myself.
HOWEVER…………….this next few days will be spent “in Process” of things to come and things that must go………Spring Cleaning??

Putting a Price on my Cards

Posted on by
Reply

One thing I find most difficult is to put a price on my cards. I “think” I need to charge by size 4×4 or 5×5 or regular card size. The thing is that I make the “paperscapes” first and they all take the same amount of time. I have just spent a month making cards (pretty regularly) and have made about 50 cards give or take a few.
Putting a price on any type of art is difficult however I seem to be able to do that with a painting – yet I get stuck with the cards.
The blank cards cost me about the same, now adding a label and cello cover all costs money, I have been through 6 glue sticks !!! Big Ones !!
I guess what I am processing here is that I am going to put a price on my cards this week and stick to those prices……..by size or by card is my dilemma.
and if that is the only dilemma in my life I AM BLESSED !!!!!!

this too shall pass

Posted on by
Reply

I suppose I need to remember that all things move – forward or backward. We never really need suffer for too long, in physical or emotional pain. For me if I just keep doing the next right thing it seems to get me through.
The energy of “doing something creative” or “doing something for someone else” always gets me out of myself.
I started to write about a year ago, my life story and yesterday I was thinking about why I stopped or more important what stopped me.
I stopped at the last year of my drinking – the year I married “Robin Hood”. It was such a tough year. A friend that I drank with was murdered. The marriage to Rob lasted about 8 weeks……….I came into recovery about 8 months later. I was spinning out of control.
So perhaps it’s time to return to the writing, for my own sense of “I can do this” and if no one ever reads it that will be ok. Perhaps it might be best if no one reads it 🙂
I am blessed to have such great family and friends that have always loved me no matter what!!