Author Archives: emerald

Spring Gap

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Christmas Picture above with all of my

grandchildren –

Happy Easter >……………but where did March go????

I feel like I have lost a month somewhere along the way. And Today realized that Easter is only one week from Sunday and I thought it was two weeks away.

Life really is what happens while we are making other plans!

Signed up for 2 workshops in Haliburton at the School of fine art………………….waiting on word about funding to take some courses and realized I could afford to do the workshops.

I am so glad Spring is here…………we may see one other snow fall however I know that its almost finished for another year. I would like to get “walking” .

Spiritually I find I have to really focus on the “grace” in my life and just be so grateful for all that I have – for my family and friends and folks God sends my way.

Having a new sponsee is a good thing – back to Step One – lots of re-affirmming that I do what I do because I have to in order to stay alive.

I have everything I need on a daily basis and that is all I have “a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition”

so it is always “now” and the goal would be to stay in the “now”

where/who am I now??

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This assemblege was inspired by the new look and colors of “southwest art”
I have an interest in Masks and I used to make them about 10 years ago and would like to start again.

A friend that visited me this past weekend helped me identify a couple of things.
One was around my statement ” I am not the same person since Brent’s passing”

A suggestion was that perhaps I “see things differently” that perhaps in fact I am the same person who views life from a different perspective. I am ruminating on this and believe it merits thought and contemplation.

The other food for thought: was my realizations around being alone a lot. Boundries – both emotional and physical. Living in fear of being hurt yet again………….not quite “poor me” however one cannot expect to never experience pain again. Was it the Buddists that said Life is Pain…………is that a noble truth????

And this ageism I have “put on myself”

Lots to think about…………waiting to hear about school…………………contemplation of tires or Vancouver!!!!!!!!!!! B.C. in April?????

I can’t seem to get the spell check to work so …………….please know I have other talents!!

Energy and the Cosmos

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So my painting called Unframed Energy above left………….and the giant spiral galaxy on the right
have similar movement.(this photo is from November/December issue of Skynews.

Van Gough’s “Starry Night” (I will have to find a copy of it.) has the same movement……….I have never looked through a telescope to see this sight in the heavens……………..
the spiral is a natural movement.

Recovery ………….

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it is a good thing that I understand recovery to be an on going process. Although I

have recovered “from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body”

and I do not want to drink or drug…………….

It seems I still recover from other things – learning this past week how disconnected I can be from – food – my body – how I eat.

Is there no end????????????? I recall that line in Narcotics Anonymous that says “We keep what we have only with vigilance………………….seems I need to transfer all this to food.

Constant Vigilance – no car eating – no TV eating – no reading a book eating. I realize the social contact of sharing a meal is missing from my life. I see what a “social” time it was for Brent and I. And, I am not saying that was a good thing. We smoked together too, and that was a social thing – a time of conversation and sharing – a connecting.

And I know it was the overeating and the smoking that killed him. Added on to years of drug use…………cocaine kills. Maybe not the day you use it. Alcohol kills and its often a slow death.

Burned out as I am……………..I know there is hope that I can be healthy in the physical realm, I am healthy Spiritually and Mentally ……………..and Emotionally most of the time.

HOWEVER they all are connected so really if I was that healthy emotionally would I not be able to be vigiant in terms of emotional eating………..which goes right back to

I am powerless over my addictions and I need God to help – I need to ask for help each day in referrance to my eating – oh shit – in reference to my life!!!!!!!!!!!! My will (thinking) and my life (actions)

Good Process here…………………

the Change Sold it!

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this is after I added the trees…………………………to this abstract

Athough the woman that purchased this picture liked it before – once she saw it with trees it was sold.

The lessens for me?
1) patience
2) listen to my teacher!!! ………………do the water line! (thanks Terry)
3) absract can be changed.